Charles and Helen's Photo Albums

Mom's Passing

Bettye Jane Bauer Furnweger

July 21, 1921 – May 14, 2013 (91 Years Old)

My mother passed away on Tuesday, May 14, 2013, after a long recovery period. Fortunately, her passing was peaceful. The doctor had stopped in to see her on Tuesday morning during his normal rounds, and she appeared fine. As was her habit, she would doze off for a couple of hours at a time. After the doctor left, she dozed off and died peacefully around 11:30 AM.

During her last few years, she had been getting progressively weaker. About two years before moving out of our family home at 3950 SW First Avenue to an independent living apartment at the Atrium, she was having difficulty walking. Once at the Atrium, her spirits picked up as she enjoyed a vibrant social life she had not known while cooped up at home.

Every day, she would go down with my dad to eat dinner (the noon meal) and supper (the evening meal). As time passed, she reached the point where she could no longer walk using her walker. My dad would then wheel her down in her wheelchair.

In the latter part of November 2012, she could no longer stand. My dad took her to the emergency room, where it was determined she had a kidney stone. Within a week, she underwent an operation; however, it was not completely successful. The surgeon discovered she had many kidney stones, and some were too large to remove safely. Due to her weakened state, it took a couple of months to recover, though she still could not walk. Around March, she underwent a second surgery to remove more stones, but once again, the surgeon was unable to complete the procedure.

After the second surgery, she never fully recovered. She continued to grow weaker, to the point where she could not roll over in bed. However, she continued with physical therapy in hopes of regaining her strength. She worked hard with the therapist because she was tired of the nursing home and wanted to return to the Atrium to live with my dad.

I arrived on a scheduled visit to Gainesville, Florida, on Wednesday, May 8, 2013. My mom was weak but had no trouble carrying on a conversation. I asked her what she wanted for Mother's Day, which was coming up on Sunday, May 12. She wanted a Chinese dinner from her favorite restaurant. I gently joked with her that she always wanted Chinese food from the restaurant that was the furthest from home. She laughed, understanding the joke. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see her laugh. Helen and I drove out to pick up a menu and brought it back to her so she could pick out exactly what she wanted.

On Sunday, Helen and I went to the restaurant, picked up the meal, and brought it back. The three of us enjoyed our lunch together, though she only ate one shrimp. The next day, she had a lot of visitors, and she proudly told all of them how happy she was that I had made a special effort for her for Mother's Day.

My dad and I spent Monday afternoon with my mom. She had a few requests regarding her care at the nursing home, and I spoke with the staff to ensure her concerns were resolved. That evening, my dad and I said goodbye. Before I left, I told her I loved her. That was the last time I would speak to my mother.